They’re Not All Good, but Not All Bad Either

Caila Holley | Staff Writer  

As a Preachers kid or PK, I find comparisons of myself to the kids seen on television shows such as “Preacher’s Daughters” demeaning. I also do not like be called a “brat” or the common misconception that as a PK I’m wild and off the wall. For some reason, PKs tend to be categorized as one group of people that really needs Jesus. However, those of us who identify as Christians would argue that we all do.

Not many people know what goes on behind closed doors at a preacher’s home and how family business really works. From first hand experience I can say that behind that door is not a perfect family, but then again, no one has a perfect family.

I come from a family of ministers, preachers, elders, bishops, and any other office you can name in church. My father has been a preacher for my entire life. Just last year, my mother began preaching. Spirituality has always been important in our household and there is not one single family occasion that I can recall not ending with family prayer. Even though the old saying goes, “A family that prays together, stays together,” like any other family, we have disagreements and argue.


Caila with her parents, Pastor Marcus D. Holley and Minster/First Lady Carla Howley

Though most get it wrong, I will admit that the best media depiction of a preacher’s family, or at least for me, has been exemplified on the show “Run’s House.” Like Rev Run’s children, I was given some freedom in my upbringing and was not forced to be saved, (accept Jesus as my personal savior). I was given the information and environment (I was forced to go to church) to make the decision for myself. I was allowed to go to parties and I even listened to old school rap with my father, who was once a DJ in New York and passed his love of music on to me. My father always made it a point to teach me about the world outside of church, so that I would be aware and learn the truth.

The best way that I can put it is that I was raised in the freedom of Christianity. I was always taught to question what people called rules and scripture by using the Bible.  I was made to understand that if God said it, he meant it, if the Bible did not imply or say that it was wrong, chances are, it was made up by someone (i.e. wearing red in church).

Though I have seen other PKs act wild and rebellious, I cannot say that their behavior is in direct correlation to their PK status. If anything, these behavioral issues may have to do with a lack of attention given to them by their parents.





Biologically, I am an only child; however, many people at church seem to think that my parents are also their parents.  As the child of a preacher, it can be quite frustrating and awkward when your parent is constantly being pulled in many different directions.

Thankfully, my parents always found a way to create a good balance, and still do. As a family, we go out to the movies, crack jokes on one another, play videogames, and have important discussions. That is what families should do, be open to enjoy each other and be willing to have serious conversations as well.  The separation of church and family should be a thin line, but it should also be as flexible as needed. This goes for any position, even to the president and his daughters. Children need attention and parents need to give priority to their children over other people and jobs.

Overly strict parents, no matter what religion or position they may have, can be a destructive force on children. If the children of these types of parents are acting out, it is most likely because they are competing for attention and may feel jealous of others within the church. The fact that they are told that they cannot live like others within the church can be a hard concept to understand. PKs did not choose to be PKs, it was a decision made by our parents. Just as it is the parents’ job to care for the people of the church, it is just as important, if not more essential, that parents dedicate more time to their children and families. Any parent, not just preachers, should do this and their child’s behavior may be more positive.