To know love is to know pain
To know a blade slicing through all the layers
The blood dripping from my hips
The late nights in my bathtub
Filled with tears and gallons of blood
Cold, wet, sticky hair
Wishing that someone would intervene and take on this burden
Knowing that nothing will be enough and i will always fall short
Questioning every interaction and thread
So I continue
Left to right, left to right
I slice, slice, slice
Hoping to overpower this sorrow with pain
With blood
With peace
Eventually I’ll lose enough
And the worlds will blur together
Finally surrounded by darkness
encompassing my soul and granting my hearts desire
I pray and pray that I will be able to leave peacefully
And that my loved ones won’t mourn too long
That they will be able to continue living as if I never existed
Because I’ve always been a shadow person, never in the forefront
But even in death my shadows will roam
See I’ll always be there, even if it’s in a padded casket, 6 feet under
Rotting for eternity
But, I’ll finally know peace
Solitude and consistency
Granted to me by powers beyond me
I just want to rest peacefully
Free from burdens and shackles
Free from this thing called love
I hear freedom calling
I hear the bells ringing
