Kenton Gibbs | Staff Writer


They say comparison is the thief of joy. I think the old adage is true in all aspects of life but especially with one’s love life. This Valentine’s Day you can avoid arguments and keep yourself a little happier by focusing on what you have and not worrying about anything else.

In today’s society we are seeing a transition from a dating for marriage system to hook-up culture. Some people want to preserve the old fashioned way, as others are happy with the new wave that’s being ushered in. To me, both sides have their ups and downs; however, I couldn’t care less what type of relationship works for other people. If a couple decides to be just talking for 20 years or married after 20 days, it doesn’t affect me.

It cracks me up how focused some people are on the relationships of others. Whether you practice monogamy, or you’re a member of a life partner gang a la Stevie J, as long as you’re happy, then that’s all that matters. People will have something to say regardless, so why let folks who won’t be there for you influence your opinion of your relationship?

You wouldn’t take advice on what to do with your car from anyone who has little to no experience with cars. So why be so quick to follow up the advice of your friends? Fellas, if your homeboy is notorious for being a dog, why ask him how you should react to your girl during an argument? In the same vein, ladies if your girl is always single and advising you to break off your relationship for the smallest thing, why keep going to her?

The crazy part is that the need to give too much credence or criticism to the situations of others extends beyond just the relationships overall into small details like gifts or sexual favors.

Last year around this time, a friend of mine from back home posted a picture on Instagram that showed a woman receiving a Mercedes Benz filled with gifts for her birthday. She captioned it with the famous Future quote, “If you care about her put her in designer.”

The sad part is she had a boyfriend at the time. Her need to compare her level of gifts probably sped the process of that relationship ending up. It’s sad that social media had her expecting her 20 year old boyfriend to buy all of that. Oddly enough, the epidemic of always worrying what someone else is getting isn’t gender exclusive. Many men constantly repost pictures of womens’ tweets about how your man shouldn’t have to ask for thing x, y or z in the bedroom.

Both of the aforementioned situations are problematic on so many levels. First off, there should be much more to your relationship than just materialism or sex. Your significant other should be more than your bank or your pornstar. If not you can go on and work that arrangement out with less feelings. Second, people like Future are multimillionaires, so of course he can put anyone he wants in designer. Us regular folks don’t have money that long. Lastly, if these folks were so obsessed with people who go viral because of their willingness to be nasty or to give generously, then why don’t they go date those people?

Some people say the grass is greener on the other side, but I was always taught that the grass is greener where you water it. So this Valentine’s Day spend all of your time and attention of making sure your lawn is as manicured as can be.